Satire

And yours shouldn’t, either

A Good Day In A Home Without YouTube Photo by G. Gauthier

My child doesn’t watch YouTube. Instead she does what children have done for generations. She screams and jumps up and down and throws things at her parents and yells at the neighbors. She demands food all the time and rips up books and breaks crayons, as well as dishes and eyeglasses. This is the nature of childhood. It is what will one day make her a woman.

YouTube is filled with children’s programming created to take advantage of inexperienced parents who aren’t aware that their youngsters need hours and hours of empty time to fill with objectionable behavior. They don’t…

Thanks to you I can drink before noon one Sunday a month

Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels

Dear Pastor Bill,

Just wanted to tell you what a fantastic live stream service you did this morning. While I know cold weather drives the Covid rates up, I am so glad it’s no longer warm enough for us to drive to the church and drag our lawn chairs across the grass for a socially distanced gathering. I don’t know if you are aware of this, but over the two months we were meeting together in Christ’s name, a certain competitiveness had begun over face masks. Lace and…

Photo by G. Gauthier

Day 11. We are less than two weeks into the coronavirus pandemic and already home sewers have created hundreds of thousands of cloth masks to support the medical community. I come up with “hundreds of thousands” after applying a complex model to the numbers of homemade masks on my Facebook wall the last three days. Also, I make a graph.

Day 12. Just as knowing that everyone is buying toilet paper has made me want to buy toilet paper, knowing that everyone is making cloth masks has made me want to make cloth masks. In fact, I feel that I…

Gail Gauthier

Writer of humorous children’s fiction. Short work at The Haven, The Millions, Literary Mama, Bending Genres, & The Blue Nib. Tweets at @gail_gauthier

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