What I Tell Literary Agents and Editors:

I am the author of eight children’s books published by G. P. Putnam’s Sons, including an ALA Notable Book and two Junior Library Guild selections. My books have been nominated for readers' choice awards in six states and published in foreign editions in Italy, Germany, France, and Japan. Four of my books have had paperback editions, and, in addition, two of them were picked up by Scholastic for its paperback book club. The rights to an excerpt from one of my books were purchased for use in a textbook for Norwegian students studying English. I also write short-form humor for on-line humor sites such as Slackjaw, The Belladonnas, Jane Austen’s Wastebasket, and Frazzled and have had short fiction published at Literary Mama and creative nonfiction at Bending Genres.

What I Told The Most Recent Journal Editor I Submitted To:

My short stories and creative nonfiction have appeared in “Literary Mama,” “Bending Genres,” and “The Millions,” among other places. My eight books for children were published by G. P. Putnam’s Sons and include an ALA Notable Book and two Junior Library Guild selections. I also write short-form humor published at on-line sites such as Slackjaw, The Belladonnas, and Frazzled. I am a native New Englander who never attended the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference but worked there in the kitchen for three summers while a student at The University of Vermont. Food and eating frequently appear in my writing, whether fiction or nonfiction.

No, no one is impressed.